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I find a "pram" reset or the sight of a newborn baby "fixes" my wife's occasional maternal urges...


(we have a pair of teenagers)
(is the word "pram" recognized in Canada? Short for perambulator - a Victorian predecessor to the baby buggy)
 

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Macdoc, after I broke my hand, I went back to the doctor to remove the cast. When he saw that the bones had reset properly, he told me that all would be fine. When I asked him if I would be able to play the piano, he replied "Well, with a bit of physio to exercise the hand, it should be as good as new for you to play the piano."

To this I replied "Great! I never knew how to play the piano before." :D
:D
 

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Macnutt, my wife calls me the King of Korn for all of the old Uncle Miltie jokes I revive. I tell her that if you don't like this form of humor, then sue me. However, I have a long ladder in the garage just in case I have to take it to a higher court. She, in turn, shows me a long rope just in case it goes to a hung jury.

:D
 

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Say, Dr. G....did you hear the one about the guy who walks into a bar with a set of jumper cables around his neck? He says to the bartender "Gimme a beer" The bartender looks at him a moment and says..."Okay, but you're not gonna start something are ya?"

ARF ARF ARF :D
 

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Macnutt, yes, I have heard that one. Actually, the man was sitting next to another patron of the fine brew, who stood up and exclaimed to all, "Why is there a three-legged dog sitting next to me?" With that, the dog calmly asked "Has anyone seen my paw?" (This joke goes over better in the western US)

Urban myth or reality?????????????/

On July 20, 1969, as commander of the Apollo 11 lunar module, Neil Armstrong was the first person to set foot on the moon. His first words upon stepping on the moon were, "That's one small step for man - one giant leap for mankind." They were televised back to earth and heard by millions. But, just before he entered the lunar lander, he made the enigmatic remark, "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky!"

Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet cosmonaut. However, upon checking, it was found there was no Gorsky in either the Soviet or American space programs.

Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky" statement meant. Each time, Armstrong merely smiled and chuckled.

On July 5, 1995, in Tampa Bay, Florida, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26 year old question to Armstrong again. This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had died, so
Neil felt he could now answer the question.

In 1938 when he was a kid in a small mid-west town, Neil was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend had hit the ball into the neighbour's yard. It landed just by the Gorsky's bedroom window. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky: "Sex! You want sex! You'll get sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!" :D
 

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That was very cool, Dr.G! And I repeat my earlier comment....you are a treasure!

I bet your students think so, as well! :D
 

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Macnutt, go to www.ratemyprofessor.com and click on Canada. Then, click on the map for the Atlantic provinces, then click on Memorial University of Newfoundland and then click on G for Glassman. You will be able to see what my students think of me on this site.

Re the original post by Macdoc on this thread, here is a good one.

A man was wandering around in a field, thinking about how good his wife had been to him, and how fortunate he was to have her.

He asked God, "Why did you make her so kind hearted?"

The Lord responded, "So you could love her, my son."

"Why did you make her so good looking?"

"So you could love her, my son."

"Why did you make her such a good cook?"

"So you could love her, my son."

The man thought about this. Then he said, "I don't mean to seem ungrateful or anything, but why did you make her so stupid?"

"So she could love you, my son."


:D
 

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Despite having been born and raised in New York City, I have become an avid gardener. For the past few days, the weather has been quite warm here in St.John's (+16C), so I thought that I would take some grass sod from the back garden and fix a spot or two in the front garden. When my neighbor saw what I was doing, knowing that I was from NYC, she called out to me "Remember, city boy, green side up!".
 

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Macnutt, in 25 years at Memorial, I have taught 255 undergrad and graduate courses to over 6200 students. I have 12 more years till I retire, so I might break the 10,000 student mark. We shall see.
 

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Gave a sample of my final today in an open book practice test. One of the students did poorly because he forgot his book. So, I told him that I would lend him my book so that he could take it home and do it as a take-home practice test. Just received an email from him -- he forgot where he lived!!!
:eek: :D
 

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Macdoc, ehMacLand Vaudevillian would be more fitting for our first Consular General in the Big Apple. "Leave 'em laughing" was the phrase used as they left the stage.
 

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Thanks for the support, Macnutt. It seems as our election returns continue to sweep in, from St.John's to Salt Spring Island, the tide is turning in my favor for this one award.

I wish to thank the academy, the fine folks in ehMacLand, and my wife and children, for the motivation and courage that enabled me to attain this height of achievement, and who, through metaphysical attrition and indeductive and inductive reasoning, bestroyed upon me the attributes that helped to make this attainment possible, and without whom, and including whom, this horizontally propelled current of gaseous matter would never have touched all who stood in it's path to be touched by it's warmth and justice, knowing that all that glitters in not "ipso facto" aurous, in that adoration is the hallmark of **** sapiens, but condonation is the indicia of omnipresent benevolence. Thank you.
 

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Sounds like a few of the sixties comedians were your cheif influences, Dr.G.

I could swear that there was a bit of Norm Crosby's scrambled syntax in there and maybe a touch of Morey Amsterdam as well. I particularly liked "bestroyed"

Too cool! :cool:
 

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Macnutt, Morey Amsterdam and Sid Caesar, with a bit of Phil Silvers, Bob Newhart, Jack Benny, and a lot of Ernie Kovacs and Uncle Miltie. I come by it honestly, and I am not ashamed by this one character trait. I never do practical jokes, never tell ethnic/racial/nationality jokes that are hurtful, and if someone has to be stupid to make the joke funny, that stupid person will be yours truly (aka the "green side up" New Yorker). One does not need to be humorous to be a teacher, at any level, but it helps. :cool:
 
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