[Dr.G.]

Let's make this interesting. The #1000 poster will get a free Standard Wirehaired Dachshund from "Little Debbie's Den of Doxies" here in St.John's. I think that we should all donate something to make it worthwhile for him/her to register and be counted.

 

[Dr.G.]

I guess the puppy goes to Rob777. Kudos to you!

Macnut, I detest Screech, and one does not "give away" Standard Wirehaired Dachshund puppies. My two are the only two in the whole province of Newfoundland and Labrador. Rootie has earned his points for his Canadian Championship classification. Daisy will not be bred for another two years, and two of her pups are already spoken for by the woman who owns her mother, and the woman who owns her grandfather. Thus, if there are puppies left in the litter, and Rob777 is of fine moral character and a "doxie" person, he shall receive one of the pups as his prize. This is only fitting, in that each pup will sell for $1000...............that is if my wife and I can manage giving up the pups. We shall see.

 

[Dr.G.]

Brainstrained, a "doxie person" must be loving to strange looking dogs, be willing to put up with the territorial behaviors of barking at everyone who comes close to the house, going crazy when someone enters the house (only to quietly sit on their lap an hour later), and just a general caring person. Such a person must not try to train the doxie into becoming a Frisbee dog, or to use them for manual labor (e.g., ditch digging, other than seeking out badgers, which is where they get their name and fame), and not use them for animal research.

 

[Dr.G.]

Rob777, thanks for your honesty (which is more than I can say for Little Debbie's Den of Doxies.........but that's another story). What sort of dogs do you currently have at home?

What is the significance of your display name?

 

[Dr.G.]

Peter, I am not a medical doctor, if that is your question. Still, the Ph.D. lets me use the Dr. in front of my name, and the Dr.G. is what my online students call me (to save space I assume).

 

[Dr.G.]

jwoodget, standard wirehaired doxies weigh about 25-30 pounds. They are amazingly quick for their shape (they are four times longer than they are high). They are territorial, and let us know when anyone is near our "territory", which is our house, our front and back garden, and Churchill Park, which is at the bottom of our Cul de Sac. They don't bite, but because of their big chest (which is needed for digging out badgers) their bark sounds like a 50+ pound dog.

There is a standard schnauzer that lives two houses down from us, and a standard poodle that lives on the next street. They both tower over my two doxies, but Daisy and Rootie make sure these two know "who is the boss". The only dog that frightens them is the Irish Wolfhound that lives near us and romps in Churchill Park. They are the size of his head and neck, and would sooner take on a riding lawn mower in full throttle than bark at this wolfhound.

 

[Dr.G.]

Peter, now that I have been awarded the "Soapies" for the Jewish Vaudevillian of ehMacLand (it was a soapstone carving of the likeness of Uncle Miltie)I shall be looking for an apprentise to pass on my craft. If you would like to be considered for this prestegious position, where you too can be funny and famous, then just let me know. I guess I shall have to exclude the doxie routine from the act, but the seltzer bottle skit is still a blast.

 

[Dr.G.]

My wife's family raised black labs in Alberta. They were used mainly for hunting. Our doxies are mainly house pets that are shown whenever there is a local dog show.

 

[Dr.G.]

Peter, you're a fast learner. Do you play the violin? We could bill you as the next henny Youngman or, dare I say, Jack Benny. We could be on Broadway in no time.

A man walked up to me in New York City wanting to know how he might get to Carnegie Hall. I told him "Practice, practice."

The oldies are still the goodies, n'est pas?

 

[Dr.G.]

Macnutt, a doxie is just what you need out there on Salt Spring Island. You would never need a gun to protect yourself, and doxies can actually be taught to program Macs. There is a Linux Doxie School of Computer Programming in Toronto, or so I have been told.

 

[Dr.G.]

Peter, any available scholarships???

 

[Dr.G.]

Peter, they are A+ students and speak fluent English, German, Brooklynese and Newfoundlandia. Is this helpful?

 

[Dr.G.]

Too bad. And they had such hopes for a better life. Actually, when I die, I want to come back as a doxie living in MY house. Talk about spoiled!!!!!!?????? Sniper is worried that I mistreat our dogs. Let him try and walk in my shoes (or try to sleep in a queen sized bed with them for a night) before he casts such stones.

 

[Dr.G.]

Peter, thank you for your kind thoughts. I shall leave you my rubber chicken and seltzer bottle in my will. Saturday will see the end of Dr.G., at least for this year. Still, I leave with no regrets. Who knows what next year shall hold for us all. Excelsior!

 

[Dr.G.]

Peter, our chickens are free-range chickens that are well treated and fed organic food on a local farm.

Here's one last joke before Sander pulls the plug on this thread.

A man goes in to a piano store to buy a baby grand piano.
"I would like to buy a Henway", he tells the owner.
"A Henway?", asks the owner. "Don't you mean a Steinway?"
"No!" replies the man, "a Henway!"
The owner asks, "What's a Henway?"
The man replies, "About two or three pounds."



Leave 'em laughing.

 

[Dr.G.]

"oy, vey!" Ethnic humor. Still, with a large German population in your area, it should go over well.

Did you hear the one about................

 

[Dr.G.]

Greetings, ALL, from a sunny and cold Calgary. Sadly, I have to leave this evening. Seems as if Santa needs some help, and he heard of my cross-Canadian mission of mercy. Thus, we have to strap on the harness to the doxies, Daisy and Rootie, and use the reindeer Olive (as in the song, "Olive the other reideer) as the lead reindeer. I have the responsibility for Canada. Thus, I hope you have all been nice, because the lumps of coal this year are being replaced with spent plutonium core rods from the Bruce nuclear power plant.

Mush, you doxies...............or whatever Santa says to get the reindeer flying.