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Old Dec 31st, 1969, 08:00 PM   #1
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Old Sep 23rd, 2004, 09:50 AM   #2
 
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A man took his wife to the Rodeo and one of the exhibits is that of breeding bulls. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year."
The wife poked her husband in the ribs and said, "He mated 50 times last year."

They walked a little further and saw another pen with a sign that said, "This bull mated 130 times last year."
The wife hit her husband and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."

They walked further and a third pen had a bull with a sign saying, "This bull mated 365 timmes last year."
The wife got really excited and said, "That's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one."

The husband looked at her and said, "Go up and ask him if it was with the same cow."

The husband's condition has been reduced from critical to stable
and he should make a full recovery.
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Old Sep 23rd, 2004, 10:37 AM   #3
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macspectrum, you've opened a can of worms..... This joke is based on a scientific observation known as the Coolidge Effect which is named for a classic joke/anecdote involving the ex-President of the USA (no, not Clinton, Coolidge, although Bill did offer a practical demonstration).

The effect.

The anecdote.

The antidote?
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Old Sep 23rd, 2004, 11:27 AM   #4
 
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Blonde enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains.

The salesman assured her that they had a large selection of pink
curtains. He showed her several patterns, but the blond seemed to be having a hard time choosing.

Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print.
The salesman asked what size curtains she needed.
The blond replies: "fifteen inches."

"Fifteen inches???" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small, what room are they for?"

The blond tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for her
computer monitor.

The surprised salesman replies, "but, Miss, computers do not need curtains!"

The blond says, "Hellllooooooooo........I've got Windows!"
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Old Sep 24th, 2004, 12:10 PM   #5
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Sinatra with a twist:

http://www.beecy.net/frank/

Cheers

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Old Sep 24th, 2004, 01:51 PM   #6
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Brilliant!!!!!! [img]graemlins/lmao.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/lmao.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/lmao.gif[/img]
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Old Sep 24th, 2004, 09:26 PM   #7
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Old Sep 25th, 2004, 11:30 PM   #8
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Q: What has four legs and an arm?

A: A Doberman.
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Old Sep 26th, 2004, 11:16 AM   #9
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Cheers

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Old Sep 26th, 2004, 11:46 AM   #10
 
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Married

A man and a woman, who have never met before, but are both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly ...

he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."

"Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed.

"Good," she replied. "Get your own f -----g blanket!"

After a moment of silence, he farted.
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