joke du jour - Page 201 - ehMac.ca
Facebook
Twitter
YouTube
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read Advertise


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old Apr 30th, 2017, 03:51 PM   #2001
Resident Curmudgeon
 
SINC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Central Alberta
Posts: 86,945
Send a message via AIM to SINC
Quote:
Originally Posted by CubaMark View Post
EDIT: See SAP today for a funny about a sermon.

(this is me realizing halfway through posting a joke, that I snagged it from Don's website)

Hey Mark, not to worry, I am always pleased to see someone snag a joke from SAP. Feel free to do so any time one tickles yer fancy.

As a matter of fact, I snag them myself from many sources, some of them right here on ehMac.
__________________
Visit my website:
St. Albert's Place On The Web
(Over 3.7 million folks have.)

Last edited by SINC; Apr 30th, 2017 at 10:11 PM.
SINC is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old Apr 30th, 2017, 10:06 PM   #2002
Honourable Citizen
 
CubaMark's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada
Posts: 17,741
Send a message via AIM to CubaMark
Quote:
Originally Posted by SINC View Post
Hwy Mark, not to worry, I am always pleased to see someone snag a joke from SAP.
Credit where it's due, amigo.
__________________
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The Cuban Revolution as Socialist Human Development Brill Books (Amazon Paperback)
CubaMark is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Apr 30th, 2017, 11:20 PM   #2003
Honourable Citizen
 
gwillikers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Left Coast
Posts: 3,881
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.

The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.'

The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'

The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What’s the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that’s red and has thorns?'

'Do you mean a rose?'

'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man.

He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'
__________________

IIci / IIsi / LC475 / Radius 81/110 / 7200/90 / UMAX S900 / UMAX S900/G3 / G4/466 / G4/867 / G4 1.25 MDD / G5 Dual 2.0 / Powerbook G4 15" 1.67 / MacBook Pro 15" 2.2 C2D / Mac Pro 5,1 (hack) / Apple TV 4 / iPhone 5S / iPad 3 / iPhone 6S
gwillikers is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 1st, 2017, 04:29 AM   #2004
Canadian By Choice
 
Dr.G.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Lunenburg, NS
Posts: 115,572
Quote:
Originally Posted by gwillikers View Post
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.

The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.'

The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'

The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What’s the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that’s red and has thorns?'

'Do you mean a rose?'

'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man.

He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'
__________________
Dr.G.
14" G4 iBook
15" MacBook Pro (July, 2009)
13" MacBooK Pro with Retina Display
Paix
"The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read these books." Mark Twain
Dr.G. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 24th, 2019, 08:56 AM   #2005
Honourable Citizen
 
CubaMark's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada
Posts: 17,741
Send a message via AIM to CubaMark
Man, we are a dour lot. No jokes since April?

Today from Reddit:

An Athiest in hell

An atheist dies and goes to hell

The devil welcomes him and says:"Let me show you around a little bit." They walk through a nice park with green trees and the devil shows him a huge palace. "This is your house now, here are your keys." The man is happy and thanks the devil. The devil says:"No need to say thank you, everyone gets a nice place to live in when they come down here!"

They continue walking through the nice park, flowers everywhere, and the devil shows the atheist a garage full of beautiful cars. "These are your cars now!" and hands the man all the car keys. Again, the atheist tries to thank the devil, but he only says "Everyone down here gets some cool cars! How would you drive around without having cars?".

They walk on and the area gets even nicer. There are birds chirping, squirrels running around, kittens everywhere. They arrive at a fountain, where the most beautiful woman the atheist has ever seen sits on a bench. She looks at him and they instantly fall in love with each other. The man couldnīt be any happier. The devil says "Everyone gets to have their soulmate down here, we donīt want anyone to be lonely!"

As they walk on, the atheist notices a high fence. He peeks to the other side and is totally shocked. There are people in pools of lava, screaming in pain, while little devils run around and stab them with their tridents. Other devils are skinning people alive, heads are spiked, and many more terrible things are happening. A stench of sulfur is in the air.

Terrified, the man stumbles backwards, and asks the devil "What is going on there?" The devil just shrugs and says: "Those are the christians, I donīt know why, but they prefer it that way".
__________________
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The Cuban Revolution as Socialist Human Development Brill Books (Amazon Paperback)
CubaMark is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 24th, 2019, 11:24 AM   #2006
Canadian By Choice
 
Dr.G.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Lunenburg, NS
Posts: 115,572
Quote:
Originally Posted by CubaMark View Post
Man, we are a dour lot. No jokes since April?

Today from Reddit:

An Athiest in hell

An atheist dies and goes to hell

The devil welcomes him and says:"Let me show you around a little bit." They walk through a nice park with green trees and the devil shows him a huge palace. "This is your house now, here are your keys." The man is happy and thanks the devil. The devil says:"No need to say thank you, everyone gets a nice place to live in when they come down here!"

They continue walking through the nice park, flowers everywhere, and the devil shows the atheist a garage full of beautiful cars. "These are your cars now!" and hands the man all the car keys. Again, the atheist tries to thank the devil, but he only says "Everyone down here gets some cool cars! How would you drive around without having cars?".

They walk on and the area gets even nicer. There are birds chirping, squirrels running around, kittens everywhere. They arrive at a fountain, where the most beautiful woman the atheist has ever seen sits on a bench. She looks at him and they instantly fall in love with each other. The man couldnīt be any happier. The devil says "Everyone gets to have their soulmate down here, we donīt want anyone to be lonely!"

As they walk on, the atheist notices a high fence. He peeks to the other side and is totally shocked. There are people in pools of lava, screaming in pain, while little devils run around and stab them with their tridents. Other devils are skinning people alive, heads are spiked, and many more terrible things are happening. A stench of sulfur is in the air.

Terrified, the man stumbles backwards, and asks the devil "What is going on there?" The devil just shrugs and says: "Those are the christians, I donīt know why, but they prefer it that way".
__________________
Dr.G.
14" G4 iBook
15" MacBook Pro (July, 2009)
13" MacBooK Pro with Retina Display
Paix
"The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read these books." Mark Twain
Dr.G. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Sep 6th, 2020, 06:45 PM   #2007
Honourable Citizen
 
CubaMark's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada
Posts: 17,741
Send a message via AIM to CubaMark
The New Brunswick Department of Transportation found over 450 dead crows on Highway #2 East near Salisbury Big Stop this past week, and there was concern that they may have died from the Coronavirus.

A veterinary epidemiologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Coronavirus (COVID-19).

The cause of death was actually from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing the paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by cars.

NB DOT then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.

The Ornithological Behaviorist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger.

They discovered that while all the lookout crows would shout "Cah","Cah" not a single one would shout "Truck"!!!
(Source: Facebook)
__________________
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The Cuban Revolution as Socialist Human Development Brill Books (Amazon Paperback)
CubaMark is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Sep 16th, 2020, 08:57 AM   #2008
Honourable Citizen
 
CubaMark's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada
Posts: 17,741
Send a message via AIM to CubaMark
__________________
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The Cuban Revolution as Socialist Human Development Brill Books (Amazon Paperback)
CubaMark is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Sep 16th, 2020, 09:12 AM   #2009
Honourable Citizen
 
Macfury's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Toronto Proper
Posts: 41,887
That's a golden oldie, CM.

Anyone remember the flip side commercial for Oil of Olay?

+ YouTube Video
ERROR: If you can see this, then YouTube is down or you don't have Flash installed.
__________________
"My life is my own."

Mac Pro 5,1 3.2 GHZ Quad Core; MacBook Pro 1,1; iPhone 4
Macfury is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Sep 16th, 2020, 02:34 PM   #2010
Honourable Citizen
 
CubaMark's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada
Posts: 17,741
Send a message via AIM to CubaMark
Whoa! I had never made the connection - that's Virginia Hey of Farscape fame, the sexiest plant alive: Pa'u Zotoh Zhaan

__________________
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The Cuban Revolution as Socialist Human Development Brill Books (Amazon Paperback)
CubaMark is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
blonde joke du jour MACSPECTRUM Everything Else, eh! 39 Aug 10th, 2005 10:55 PM
joke du jour MACSPECTRUM Everything Else, eh! 169 Sep 20th, 2004 04:37 PM
joke du jour MACSPECTRUM Everything Else, eh! 3 Dec 22nd, 2003 03:37 PM
joke du jour MACSPECTRUM Everything Else, eh! 12 Nov 28th, 2003 12:27 PM
Joke du jour - Definiton of a consultant MACSPECTRUM Everything Else, eh! 2 Jun 11th, 2003 04:17 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:43 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2020 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Copyright Đ 1999 - 2012, ehMac.ca All rights reserved. ehMac is not affiliated with Apple Inc. Mac, iPod, iTunes, iPhone, Apple TV are trademarks of Apple Inc. Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0 RC 2

Tribe.ca: Urban living in Toronto!