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Old Nov 6th, 2008, 08:46 PM   #1511
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Be logical, Captain McCain
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Old Nov 7th, 2008, 02:41 PM   #1512
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Beam me down on Jan.21th, 2009, Scotty. There is finally some intelligent lifeforms down on Earth.
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Old Nov 9th, 2008, 09:57 AM   #1513
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A tourist approached a local person in a village he was visiting and asked 'What's the quickest way to the lake?'

The local scratched his head, 'Are ya walkin 'r drivin?' he asked the stranger.

'I'm driving' said the stranger.

The villager said 'Yep, that's the quickest way'
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Old Nov 9th, 2008, 02:31 PM   #1514
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The Week in Political Cartoons
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Old Nov 9th, 2008, 02:42 PM   #1515
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Good one, Ms. G.
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Old Nov 11th, 2008, 08:40 AM   #1516
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Marijuana Filled Firewood

'Hello, is this the Police Office?'




'Yes. What can I do for you?'




'I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Jack Murphy...He's hidin' marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he's hidin' it there..'




'Thank you very much for the call, sir.'




The next day, twelve St Johns Police Officers descend on Jack's house.




They Search the shed where the firewood is kept.




Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana.




They sneer at Jack and leave.




Shortly, the phone rings at Jack's house.




'Hey, Jack! This here's Floyd....Did the Police come?'




'Yeah!'




'Did they chop your firewood?'




'Yep!'




'Happy Birthday, buddy!'




(Dem Newfies sure knows how t' get'er done)
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Old Nov 12th, 2008, 02:44 PM   #1517
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An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese man, are hired at a Construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand.

He says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping."
To the Scotsman he says, "You're in charge of shoveling."
And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."

He then says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. "I expect you men to make a dent in that pile of sand."

So when the foreman returns after being away for a couple of hours the pile of sand is untouched.

He asks the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian replies, "I no hava no broom. You saida to the Chinesea fella that he a wasa ina charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere."

Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile." The Scotsman replies, "Aye, that ye did laddie, boot ah could nae get meself a shoovel. Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldna fin' him neither."

The foreman is really angry now. He storms off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese gent.

Just then, the Chinese man leaps out from behind the pile of sand and yells, "SUPPLIES!"
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Old Nov 12th, 2008, 02:55 PM   #1518
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Let's see, the last two postings have made fun of Newfoundlanders and Labradorians, the Italians, the Scottish and the Chinese. Who is next, stupid people from New York City???

Speaking of stupid people from New York City, I read in the NY Times of a hunting party of men from NYC. They were all decked out in their finest hunting gear, with precision rifles and shotguns.

The problem was that they encircled a buck in upstate New York ......... and started shooting. Of the 8 men, 5 were injured by shots fired by someone on the other side of the circle.

There is also the true hunting story of a cow in Stone Ridge, NY, that had a big C O W painted in orange on its side since hunters from New York City were always shooting at it thinking it was a moose.
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Old Nov 14th, 2008, 08:08 AM   #1519
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A naive newly wed is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says "Six Brazilian men died today in a skydiving accident."

She starts crying and says to her husband, sobbing "That's horrible."

Confused, he says, "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is that risk involved."

After a few minutes, his wife, still sobbing, says, "How many is a Brazilian anyway?"
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Old Nov 14th, 2008, 09:03 AM   #1520
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