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Old Nov 4th, 2004, 12:48 PM   #131
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A prison warden, addressing the three instigators of a failed prison riot, said, "I would like to know two things. First, Why did you revolt? Second, how did you get out of your cell?"

One of the three men stepped forward, "Warden, we rebelled because the food is awful."

"I see. And what did you use to break the bars?", the warden asked.

Replied the spokesman, "French Toast..."
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Old Nov 4th, 2004, 01:38 PM   #132
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An English professor told her students that there would be no excuse for not showing up for their final exam, except for serious injury, illness, or a death in the student's immediate family.

A smartass jock in the back of the room asked, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class did its best to stifle their laughter.

When silence was restored, the teacher smiled sympathetically at the student, shook her head, and sweetly said, "You can write with your other hand."

Cheers

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Old Nov 4th, 2004, 08:59 PM   #133
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My goodness, Dr. G, do you really have students? Of what?
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Old Nov 4th, 2004, 09:29 PM   #134
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Sorry, double post
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Old Nov 4th, 2004, 09:33 PM   #135
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archangel, look here!

Cheers

[img]smile.gif[/img]
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Old Nov 4th, 2004, 10:34 PM   #136
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Thank you, Sinc.
Well, well, well, hmmm.
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Old Nov 5th, 2004, 05:21 AM   #137
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Archangel, yes, I have taught a few students during my 28 years here at Memorial University. Since 1925, going back to the days of Memorial College, 13,800+ students have graduated with some sort of degree in education, going on to become teachers. In all my years at MUN, I have taught 6700+ students. Thus, I have taught one out of every two students who have ever graduated with some form of degree in education on a graduate or undergraduate level. [img]tongue.gif[/img] I am now teaching the children of some of my students. When I start getting the grandchildren of my former students then I shall know it is time to retire.
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Old Nov 5th, 2004, 11:11 AM   #138
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It's wise to remember how easily email -- this wonderful technology -- can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences.

Consider the case of the Toronto man who left the snow-filled streets last winter for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.

Unfortunately, when typing her address, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

"Hi Dear, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P.S. Sure is hot down here."

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Old Nov 6th, 2004, 04:52 AM   #139
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Dr. G:
good Sinc has demonstrated that you are worthy of more respect than I've shown. I'm sorry.

Here is a really bad joke to show my good faith and willingness to share in the proceedings
A Jelly Bean walks into a bar and starts talking to a Smartie.
After a few beers the Smartie says, 'Ere, a bunch of us are heading to that new club - fancy tagging along?'
The Jelly Bean says, 'Sorry mate - I'm a soft centre. I always end up getting my head kicked in.'
So, the Smartie says, 'Don't worry about that - I'm a bit of a hard case. I'll look after you.'
The Jelly Bean thinks about it for a minute and says, 'Fair enough - as long as you'll look after me.' and off they go.
A bit later and after the guys have had a few beers in the club, three Vick's cough drops walk in.
As soon as he sees them, the Smartie hides under the table. The Vicks take one look at Jelly Bean and start kicking the jelly out of him, breaking bottles over his little jelly head, lamping him with little sugary chairs, and generally having a laugh. After a while they get bored and walk out.
The Jelly Bean pulls his battered Jelly Bean body over to the table and wipes his Jelly Bean blood up and turns to the Smartie and says, 'I thought you were going to look after me.'
I was, I was!' says the Smartie, 'but those Vicks are menthol.'";:
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Old Nov 6th, 2004, 08:56 AM   #140
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A couple attended a seminar on the importance of communication in a marriage.

"It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other," the speaker said. Addressing the husband, the speaker asked, "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"

The man leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Robin Hood, isn't it?
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