: Blog

Mar 26th, 2003, 02:11 PM

Baghdad tense as Iran invasion nears (February, 2004)

Baghdad, U.S. Protectorate of Iraq
February 16, 2004

Thousands of the more than 1 million US peacekeepers in Iraq were in evidence on Baghdad streets today in the aftermath of a series of suicide bombings, one of which destroyed a MacDonald's restaurant on Baghdad's main street, George W. Bush Boulevard.

In a newscast simultaneously broadcast in English and Arabic, Iraqi Protectorate President Jay Garner warned terrorists to expect reprisals if the suicide bombings continued.

Shortly afterwards, Protectorate forces entered a neighborhood in Nasiriyah, where one of the suicide bombers is believed to have lived, and bulldozed an entire block of homes. Unconfirmed reports indicated minor civilian casualties.

Crowds of onlookers hurled stones and curses at the Protectorate peacemakers, forcing them to disperse their attackers using rubber bullets and tear gas. As they withdrew from the town, Protectorate forces killed four Iraqis whose movements indicated that they were planning an ambush. Officials subsequently conceded that the four were children trying to avoid the troops as they returned home from school.

The continued civil unrest could pose minor difficulties for the planned invasion of Iran, Garner conceded in a press conference held this morning, held in the new, lavish Donald Rumsfeld Communications Center, on Wolfowitz Street.

Protectorate forces may encounter snipers, minor sabatoge, and more suicide bombings, Garner said, but such actions will not undermine the Protectorate's determination to invade Iran and destroy the neighboring country's weapons of mass destruction.

Garner quoted U.S. President George W. Bush's statement on the bombings: "Do not underestimate our resolve. If you are a terrorist, we will find you, and we will kill you."

An unresolved question remains, however, of just how Iran's oil fields will be divided among the various oil companies that have taken over oil production in Iraq. "We'll have to work it out," Garner said, "but I can assure you that all of the companies will get a piece of the pie."

According to an unnamed Administration official, one factor would be how much the companies are willing to contribute to the reelection campaign of US President George W. Bush.

"The decision will be announced soon. In the meantime, I have a word for the Iranian people. We are about to bring you liberty and free enterprise. Just as we did in Iraq, we will dismantle the last vestiges of socialism and hand over your country's riches to multinational corporations."

As the press conference concluded, a series of powerful bombs ripped through the limousines that were preparing to escort Mr. Garner from the press conference to the Presidential Mansion.

"Their timing was off," said a security official, who asked not to be named. "Five minutes later, they would have had Garner." The blast killed 17 Secret Service personnel as well as 35 Iraqi civilians, with scores more injured, many seriously. The windows of the Donald Rumsfeld Communications Center were coated with the victims' blood. An analyst, who asked to remain unnamed, said that another series of reprisals is expected after this incident.

Members of the press corp, including this reporter, had difficulty preparing their reports, because their notebook computers were covered in blood. Their telephones were covered in blood. Their clothes were covered in blood.

And their souls were covered in blood