I'm having a bit of an issue with my family doctor, which while not medically serious, bothers me very much because I did not like the way she handled it. At this point, I don't think it's worth changing doctors, but I would very much like to address it with her.

Without getting overly detailed, (it's a female problem) my doctor was concerned about a couple of 'symptoms' and had me do some tests. I was not concerned, as these 'symptoms' seemed within the range of normal to me, but did the tests to be safe. Tests revealed nothing wrong.

My doctor then wanted to treat me medically for these symptoms. I did not want this treatment. I'd taken similar medication for a different reason in the past and did not like the side effects. I stated that and she still insisted. I questioned why I needed treatment when the tests show nothing was wrong. She said thought something might be happening which might lead to a small risk something that could become more serious, and insisted that I go ahead with treatment just in case. I didn't agree with her conclusions (it didn't entirely make logical sense to me) said no, I did not want to. We argued a bit, she seemed frustrated with me, and she finally suggested that I see a specialist who might be able to prescribe something that would have fewer side effects. I said okay.

Fast-forward a few months later, and I saw the specialist. He went through the records and asked me a number of questions and then blurted out "I don't know why she sent you here--everything seems fine." He carried on with an examination anyway just to be sure, and in the end told me I was fine, everything was normal, I had a good family doctor who is very cautious, and if in the future the symptoms started to concern me at all to come back in and he'd check it all out. (Frankly, I thought he was great.)

I don't mind that she's cautious and had me do tests or sent me a specialist--better safe than sorry. I also don't mind that she suggested a treatment as a precaution, since I think it's good for me to know what my options are. But I do very much mind that she insisted on treatment, which I was very against, which turned out to be medically unnecessary.

I'm not quite sure what to do here. I've written (but not yet sent) a letter to her outlining the issue and telling her clearly that I'd like to stay with her, but I need for my family doctor to respect my concerns about any treatment. But I am not sure if I should just send this to her (and hope reads it), or make an appointment with her to tell her off (which seems odd to me), or if there is something else I can do here.

Any advice or suggestions?

An interesting situation, Sonal. I would send the letter, but you should also be ready to find another family doctor. She may not like being questioned as to her decision to send you to a specialist. I know that with my family doctor she respects my wishes and concerns, so this is not an issue for me. However, years ago, when I had problems with my knee, a specialist said that immediate surgery was the only answer. I went to someone else, equally qualified, and he explained what would happen after surgery, and what I could do if I did not have surgery. I chose not to have surgery. The first specialist will now not take me on as a patient anymore for questioning his diagnosis. That is fine with me, but it is something you might want to consider.

Still, if your letter is honest and simply requests that this doctor respect your wishes as well, I don't see much harm in sending it to her.

Bonne chance, mon amie.

Certainly having previously experienced side effects you were absolutely right to refuse the medication.

Beyond that, the question becomes whether or not you view this as a serious enough issue to send you looking for another GP. Could be the Doc was just having a bad day and reacted inappropriately to having her recommendation challenged. Could also be that for her, being in control trumps patient welfare.

Obviously you have a better vantage point than the rest of us to try and figure out which dynamic was in play.

Unless Doctor visits are a frequent part of your schedule, you may want to let it ride. It's likely the Doc will have long since forgotten the incident by the time your next appointment rolls around.

Interesting Sonal.

It's hard to say. I don't know if I'd send a letter or actually book an appt to chat with her about what your letter says.

Or,

I would be tempted to not tell her about it.

Just act like all is normal and at your next appointment tell her the specialist said not to do the treatments so you didn't and you thought she would have found out through the normal channels of doctor to doctor communication.

I've heard that finding a new doctor can be very challenging so I don't know if I would go that route or just ask to see a specialist or get a 2nd opinion the next time.

good luck!
Keebler

Yep, I agree. I would drop it and keep a doctor you are otherwise OK with. One small faux pas can be forgiven and any such discussion or letter is bound to taint the relationship. If something similar arises in the future, tell her how you feel and stand firm.

If you have an issue with your physician, you can file a complaint with the College. They'll investigate and in some cases discipline them. At the very least, it will show your physician that you take your beliefs seriously.

The Complaints Process | Complaints | Policies & Publications | College of Physicians and Surgeons of Ontario (http://www.cpso.on.ca/policies/complaints/default.aspx?id=1772)

Also keep in mind that some doctors may drop patients that they fear will sue them for malpractice down the road. As others have said, if you're otherwise happy with them, it may be better to keep it to yourself.

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If the doctor has any suspicions about anything, they often fear a lawsuit if they don't follow up.

I am agreeing that you should let it ride this time, but keep the letter for future reference. If she tries to insist upon medication in the future for something similar or something that you know is going to cause uncomfortable side effects, then you can discuss what happened this time. I am glad that she sent you to a specialist, she was probably hoping that the specialist would also prescribe the same/similar medication, and didn't just ignore any symptoms as I have had happen.

My opinion FWIW - let it ride. No letter, no conversation, no nothing. The next time she recommends something you are not comfortable with, tell her why you are not comfortable with it and ask her to suggest alternatives.

As far as this particular incident goes, she has already been informed by the specialist that the recommended treatment was not really necessary, so just let it be, do not bring it up.

I don't think this calls for changing your GP or anything, especially considering she has been good for you till now.

Good luck.

Cheers

Why on earth would you want to stay with her if you don't trust her judgment? What makes you so sure you won't find yourself in the same position with the next diagnosis? The doctor/patient relationship is founded on trust. Without that, there's little reason to stay faithful to each other.

One option is to make an appointment and talk it through with her. Relationships with doctors require work like any other, doctors are people too, and doctors can't read minds.

Thanks everyone for replying. I'm kind of surprised at how many people have said "let it ride." How is my doctor expected to know that there was a problem (and hopefully ensure that it doesn't happen again) if I don't tell her that there was a problem?

But in any case, to address comments and questions brought up generally.

I am prepared to find a new family doctor if needed. I have no ongoing medical issues at this point, so if I bring this up and it goes badly, it doesn't hurt me to take some time to find a new one.

Why I still trust her (and am therefore willing to try and work this out) is that if I look at the medical steps taken, those seem appropriate and reasonable to me, and the end result was fine--it's how she went about it that bothers me. I suppose in my ideal world, she'd recommend treatment "just in case", and if I objected, she wouldn't keep insisting.... she'd just send me to the specialist to investigate one way or another.

That said, her insistence on one particular treatment seems to be erring on the side of caution.... I'd rather have a family doc who was too cautious vs. not cautious enough, you know? But she could do a better job of listening to my objections.

Since the end result of what I think should have happened and what did happen is the same, I don't think it's worth a formal complaint.

One option is to make an appointment and talk it through with her. Relationships with doctors require work like any other, doctors are people too, and doctors can't read minds.

I sent a message to an acquaintance of mine who is a family doctor to ask her advice as well--this is exactly what she said: to book an appointment and talk it through. So I think I will do that and take my letter in with me so that I can stay clear about what I want to say.

Thanks everyone for replying. I'm kind of surprised at how many people have said "let it ride." How is my doctor expected to know that there was a problem (and hopefully ensure that it doesn't happen again) if I don't tell her that there was a problem?

But in any case, to address comments and questions brought up generally.

I am prepared to find a new family doctor if needed. I have no ongoing medical issues at this point, so if I bring this up and it goes badly, it doesn't hurt me to take some time to find a new one.

Why I still trust her (and am therefore willing to try and work this out) is that if I look at the medical steps taken, those seem appropriate and reasonable to me, and the end result was fine--it's how she went about it that bothers me. I suppose in my ideal world, she'd recommend treatment "just in case", and if I objected, she wouldn't keep insisting.... she'd just send me to the specialist to investigate one way or another.

That said, her insistence on one particular treatment seems to be erring on the side of caution.... I'd rather have a family doc who was too cautious vs. not cautious enough, you know? But she could do a better job of listening to my objections.

Since the end result of what I think should have happened and what did happen is the same, I don't think it's worth a formal complaint.



I sent a message to an acquaintance of mine who is a family doctor to ask her advice as well--this is exactly what she said: to book an appointment and talk it through. So I think I will do that and take my letter in with me so that I can stay clear about what I want to say.

Bonne chance, mon amie.

Hope the follow up goes well. You'd like to be able to trust her judgement on both smaller as well as life-or-death issues. Good luck.

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After your latest post it seems that you tend to have your mind made up about most things one way or another.

Were you hoping that most people would just agree with what you wanted to do as validation?

If you know what you want just do it. :lmao:

Well, if you want to go that way.... the question was "how to address it" not "if I should address it." ;) If I wrote unclearly, or if someone wanted to take on the question of If instead of How, I don't mind, but I did have my mind made up about the If part. Not so much about the how part.

I was hoping for some advice about how to go about bringing it up, since I wasn't sure what was appropriate. Sending a letter, making an appointment, if there's some more formal process, if someone has had some experience doing this, etc. (And in fact, I did get answers to all of that in this thread.)

I know it is difficult sometimes to bring things up with the doctor, as they seem to have their own agenda, and limited time. This is especially true if they're running behind schedule and you don't want to keep other patients waiting.

Personally I think you are correct in doing it 'in person', but having your concerns written down. I always take a list with me when I go to my doctor, as I seem to always forget something while there.

I used to have a family doctor who initially was very much 'a pill for everything', until I told him that I really don't like pharmaceuticals and could we please try 'lifestyle changes' first? He was completely onboard with that approach, but told me that most people come in looking for an 'instant cure' and seem to be happier leaving the doctor's office with a prescription rather than just being told to 'lose weight, get more exercise, and quit drinking and smoking'. I've since switched doctors (not by choice - the old one moved), and told my new doctor at our very first meeting my approach to health. She agreed and said that I am the person who is in the best position to make decisions about what is best for my life. Sounds like your doctor wasn't listening, and you will know fairly quickly after you next meeting with your doctor whether you need to find someone else who will listen. But definitely best to do it in person!